


Crushed

by Jdogglol



Category: Original Work
Genre: Acting, Black Character(s), Depression, F/M, Friendship, Grooming, High School, Loss of Virginity, Manipulation, Older Man/Younger Woman, Physical Abuse, Rape/Non-con Elements, Suicidal Thoughts, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:20:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26577466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jdogglol/pseuds/Jdogglol
Summary: A young girl enters high school not sure what to do. She has a rocky relationship with her family and is really unsure of her place in the world. In high school she develops a crush on her English teacher. He is everything she thinks a man should be. Smart, kind and loves to help others learn, but What happens when people are not always like they seem? What happens when the man she thinks is so great, crushes her dream.  Bringing her back to reality and out of the dream she has made in her head.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter 1

I don't want to do this. I'm not ready. Why do things always have to change right when I am getting comfortable? I am going to hate it, I can already feel it. I wont have anyone with me. I wont know anyone. Everyone is going to act differently. I'll be alone like always, I should be used to this by now. I thought it would get easier, having no one, it feels like its getting worse. My two "friends" will always pick each other over me. They're really best friends they just let me tag along because they think I'm entertaining. Maybe they wont leave me behind once we get there. They might want to keep me with them. I hope.

Danny. She might still talk to me. We talked all summer, hopefully shell still talk to me if she sees me. It does not matter though. She will leave me too. No one really cares about me. My own parents don't even care about me, why would these children. I'm weird and loud. I say things at the wrong time and don't know when to give up and just let things go. I just want someone to love me like I love them. I just want to be seen as who I am and accepted. I don't want to have to change myself for anyone to accept me. I just want to find where I belong. Where I'm meant to be and who I'm supposed to be with.

I wish I had real friends. I wish I wasn't sad all the time. I wish I could just find out what I'm supposed to do here. I wish my dad did not hate me. People tell me he doesn't but that's how it feels. Why cant he just love me how I think he should? Why does he have to hurt me? Yell at me? I hate him, well I think I hate him. I don't want to though. I wish I could talk to him about this. How uneasy I feel about this transition. I wish I had someone to help me, tell me what to do. That everything will be okay.

It doesn't matter. I am used to feeling alone, having no one to help me. I didn't need anyone then and I don't need them now. I have done everything else by myself. I have always been a second thought and you know what? I don't care.(I kind of do) I will get through this. So what I cried myself to sleep for a week straight the last week of summer. I'm going to be okay, eventually. I can get used to it. I know I don't like big changes but It has to happen. You can reinvent yourself here. You don't have to talk to anyone you can just blend into the background. No one wants to see me anyway.

I can do this. I'm going to start high school. I might like it, you never know. You could find the love of your life here. Lets not get carried away but maybe You can find your place. Maybe you could find real friends. I don't want to do this but I have to. Next week I have to start school as a freshman. I really don't know what to expect but it can't be that bad. Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sub to my onlyfans 😃https://onlyfans.com/katypink


	2. Freshman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Abuse  
> Look at end notes for more notes

It is in fact that bad. The halls are crowded, they smell like no one understands or knows what deodorant is. News flash, AXE on top of must, is just musty AXE guys! Everyone is pushing each other in rushes to get to class, people standing in the middle of the hall blocking the way. Attitudes? YES! Manners? NO! Its just the first day ya know! Everyone is just getting adjusted and excited to see their friends, it should calm down after a week. My school is three stories and in the shape of a square. My brick prison for the next four years. I don't know how I'm supposed to act. How other people are going to act. It is so many more people here than it was in middle school. I think I have already decided I am going to hate this. Its just the way its gonna have to be. I just saw a kid spit his gum on the floor?? Yeah, I can not do this. Everyone says " These four years are going to fly by and you will miss being in high school", Um yea no. Please fly by, I do not think High School will be my peak. 

My first class in English. Okay, I like English. Now I just have to find it and I pray in my head " _please don't_ _be on the third_ _floor!"_. Three flights of steps every morning? What am I an athlete? Technically yes but that is not the point! I look at my little white schedule and see 3226. I sigh, look at it again and sigh even louder. It has a three in front so that means the third floor. As I start my 40 year journey up the evil, steep, stupid steps I slip into my own world trying to prepare my self for class.

" _What if I don't know anyone in class? What if I do know people in class but they do not want to talk to me? What if its a class full of people I can not stand, oh God! Please don't let one of the "popular" kids be in here. I hope my teacher is nice. I can do this, I can be social and make friends! There is nothing to worry abo-_

I am quite literally knocked out of my thoughts when a tall dark skin boy with kind eyes bumps into me in a rush down the steps. I just stare at him as he calls out a "Sorry my bad" on his way down. I stand at the top of the steps having made it to the third floor and just take a minute to think about the most beautiful boy I have ever seen in my life! 

" _Am I in love!? I wonder what grade he is in. He looked like a grown man?! Grown men go here!?!?! I wonder if he would want to be friends with me. Its my first day and I already have a crush on some nameless boy I do not even know. Great, Jasmin, amazing._

I find my class and I sit in a seat that is near the front off to the side. I know some of the kids in here but I never really talked to them. I just sit in my seat and wait for class to start. I think everyone is here already. The minute bell rings and everyone else starts to take their seats, the conversations winding down. I hope someone I like comes in. God must be listening to me today because Danny walks in! She is a fair skinned girl, she has a lip ring(fake) light eyeliner around her eyes, nails painted black, wearing all black jeans and a Five seconds of summer shirt. Her curly hair (currently dyed blue halfway down, she is going through her emo phase right now) is in two space buns on top of her head. She finds my eyes and breaks out into a smile and rushes over to me. 

"Thank God You're in this class cause its all lame bitches in here" She says with a smile, her braces still on, I wonder when she's going to get them off.

"She's talking to me! She still wants to be my friend", I think to myself. I can not but help to smile when I respond

" I know right! Class should be fun with you here!" She nods her head in agreement and sits near me and the bell rings before we really get to catch up. We just do ice breaker stuff and our teacher is pretty nice, she keeps talking about her dog so I guess that's what were going to hear about most of the year. I decide that I like my English class and hope I like my next class when the bell rings signaling us to move on to next period. 

That thing about liking my next class? I can forget about that. My Science teacher, Mrs. Taffy ( also on the third floor) is a witch. I'm sure of it. She has long thin hair, thin glasses a creepy smile and is shaped like a pear and has tiny ankles. She tells us right away that this is not going to be easy and we have to work hard if we want to pass her class. Then proceeds to tell us about her time in the army and how she blah blah blah. I do not care about that because I am looking at all the objectives we are doing today! On the first day! She is making us do actual work?! How could she! I had my " What did you do this summer " essay ready. I am seated in the back so cheating off the girl next to me should be fairly easy. When is lunch? Who am I going to sit by? These are more important questions right now than whatever the scientific method is!! I have math next and I don't even like math but anything would be better than being in this cold science room. 

My math teacher is a guy with a weird last name and glasses. He has brown hair cut very short, he's about 5'8 and walks funny like his foot hurts him. He sounds like a jackass when he talks but I do not think it is on purpose. He might just talk like he doesn't care but I can tell he's nice underneath. His name is some strange B name. I'll just call him Mr. B. Hopefully he is a good math teacher cause I suck at math and didn't learn much from my last math teacher. I think I like him and decide that we should be friends. I love having teachers friends because they know a lot and it makes asking them for help easier. I'm with teachers most of my life so I might as well like them! Teachers are basically your parents but the difference is I can pick my school parents! If I could pick my parents I definitely would not have the ones God decided to stick with me at birth. 

When people tell me I should be grateful to have two parents at home. First off fuck you! Secondly my parents are evil and should not have had kids. My mom is a manipulative jealous, spiteful childish woman. My father thinks beating me within an inch of my life every time I upset him is "good parenting". My mom only does nice things so she can throw it in my face later for everything she does for me. Aww you want a reward for doing what parents are supposed to? You had me, that means you should feed me, shelter me and take care of me, that's kind of how it goes. No one told you to have a kid, I did not ask to born, lets remember that. They love to control me and every aspect of my life if they can help it. I can not wait to get a job and make my own money so I can get away from them and start living my life for me. Anyways, let me not make myself upset thinking about this. 

Maybe I can make High school not so bad. I have Danny and Mr. B, I am sure I can make more friends along the way, it's only the first day after all I have four more years to make friends. They have a theater and I have always wanted to act! I could make friends there! I could find a group I fit in with, that would be nice. I'm in the band and that should help me make friends. The band kids are a little strange but so am I! I have the feeling I wont like High school but I can only make the best out of what I got. 

< a couple months later>

It's November now and some kids from band have convinced me to audition for the district wide musical. When I say kids I mainly mean one boy who will not leave alone. Derek literally dragged me to the audition, he must really want me to be in the musical. I think he has a crush on me that's what his friends tell me. Even though Derek is very nice, it isn't a good idea. Introduce him to my family? Never going to happen. I am glad that he got me to audition though, School has been going good and without him making me I probably would have never been apart of one of the best things ever! I love acting and being on stage! I'm just a background singer but I'm on stage for like, most of the show! Super cool! 

We rehearse everyday after school till winter break. We come back second semester in January to continue getting ready for the show. We start doing dress rehearsals so we all get to dress up in our costumes. I get to be in a long red sparkly dress and one of the girls does my makeup. When I look at myself in the full length mirror I commit this image of me and the feeling I have to memory. I look like a princess. My skin in surprisingly clear considering all the make up I've had on in the last couple days and all the sweat from the stage lights. My hair up in a puff and my brown skin looks likes it is glowing in the dressing room light. I feel peaceful. I haven't felt so at ease in so long it feels like. I never want this feeling to go away. I had finally done something I wanted to do for myself. Something I liked. I made the choice to stay in the show, to do something for me. I feel like I am actually living my life for me and not my parents for once. My dad was not happy when I said I wanted to join it and they told me not to waste my time with Auditioning. Not surprising, if its not something they want me to do for church or to make them look good they would rather I not waste my time with it. Because anything I want is a waste of time unless it benefits them.

I don't think about this though. I think about all the great people I have met and how I will have these memories forever. It is almost February and our opening night is coming up. All the hard work that all of us have done is going to be seen and I am so happy I made the choice to be apart of this. I think I am happy, in this moment I do not feel the sadness that usually follows me everywhere. Being away from home has helped me feel so much more stable. I don't feel the heavy weight on me here on stage I feel free. I feel myself. I look at myself and think this is what being happy feels like. Free! This. This is the moment where I feel the hope. I can be happy. I don't have to be sad anymore. Things are coming together for me, I don't have to live under my parents thumb. I can have something for myself. This is my lifeline that I think I can drag myself out of this sea of depression to the shore where my happiness is waiting for me. 

I should have known that good things do not last for me. Who knew A car ride would sink me. Who knew a car ride would cut my lifeline to what I thought I could have. I should have just taken the bus, but I can not go back now. It was cold and the after school bus takes nearly an hour to get me home because of the stops. I didn't think a ride from my friend would be such a big deal such a mistake. Of course it was though, because good things do not last, I should have known.

"Hey, Jasmin! Hold on a second" Derek shouted after me.

I really need to hurry up and go to the front of the building so I don't miss this bus. What does he want? It's cold and snowy and I do not feel like standing and talking. 

"Um what is it Derek? I'm kind of in a rush, I don't want to miss the bus." I answer

"Oh that is actually what I wanted to ask you about" He looked away and rubbed the back of his neck like he was nervous. _What the fuck is he_ nervous _about? Spit it out, the_ _fuck?_ _Its_ _cold!_

"Iwasgonnaaskifyouwantedaride" He rushed out.

"I'm sorry, What was that?"

He sighed and tried again " I wanted to ask if you need a ride?" 

I blinked at him. Then blinked again. _He wants to give me a ride home? That's nice I guess. I mean freezing cold bus with loud Ill-mannered kids or warm comfortable ride with good-mannered Derek. Seems like an obvious choice in my opinion!_

"Sure, I would like that very much" I give him the best smile I can because I really did not want to ride the bus. I give him my address and we listen to the radio on the way. Oh, yeah this is way better than the bus! He doesn't talk to me much which I appreciate because I just want to sit and soak up all this nice warmth before I have to get out into the evil freezing cold again. He drops me off and I make sure to tell him thanks. He just shrugs and says "that's what friends are for" and drives off. 

The first thing I notice is my dads car is here. Strange, he usually works evenings. As I walk in I am immediately met with suspicious eyes and questions. 

"who is that?" 

"Why are you bringing people to my house?"

"who gave you permission to get in the car with anyone else?"

I am very confused as to what the problem is. Why is it such a big deal? I just got a ride from my friend, what did I do wrong? Permission to get a ride home? When did I start needing permission to get rides? That's new to me. I don't understand why I need to explain this but let me just go ahead so I can go to my room. 

"Its my friend from school, we're in the musical together and he offered to give me a ride home so I didn't have to take the bus. Is something wrong with that?" I tell him. Why is he making a big deal out of this?

" He? What are you alone in the car with some boy for? You can take the bus, I didn't give you permission to get in the car with anybody. Don't be bringing no fool to my house!" he states. 

" I just wanted a ride cause I didn't want to take the bus. Why do I need permission to get a ride? He just dropped me off and left, what's the problem" I ask. Genuinely confused on what the problem is about this. Clearly this was not the right thing to say to him because his nostrils frail like they do when he is upset. Yeah, I'm about to get screamed at, I can feel it. 

" You need permission because I say so! Don't get smart with me, take the damn bus! I'm not dumb, I used to be a boy, stay away from him! Don't be stupid, I know what boys want. I'm not raising sluts in my house, you don't need no boy giving you a ride." He walks towards me crowding me into the door raising his voice with every step. 

_Slut? Bro, what the actual fuck is he talking about right now? So I'm a slut now cause I got a ride? Ridiculous! I was having such a good day and now I come home to get in an argument with him. I'm stupid for getting a ride with Derek? What is Derek going to do? Yeah now I'm mad. If I got one thing from my dreadful father it was his temper. Do I feel like getting my ass kicked though? Not really but at this point I should be expecting some sort of slap soon cause he loves to emphasize his points with a few of those!_

" How am I a slut for getting a ride? Just because that's how you choose to think of women does not mean its true. I'm not stupid its just a ride why are you making it something its not even close to being" I get out right before he's choking me and slamming me against a wall.

He is right in my face now. Screaming at me but its hard to hear with all the blood pumping in my ears. I feel so angry and helpless as he hold me by my neck. Why does he have to react like this? I feel the tears start to prick my eyes and all I can do is push at his hand and claw at him to try and get him off me. He's screaming something at me and I just struggle trying to get away from him and I feel pain shoot across the left side of my face. First slap, I wonder how many times he will hit me in the head this time. My voice finally comes back to me as I do some screaming of my own.

" LET ME GO! GET OFF OF ME!" I scream, still held by my neck on this wall. He pulls me and slams me back into it a couple of times while I still try to get away from him.

I'm scratching at his chest, tears falling freely down my cheeks now as I'm consumed by anger. I just want to get away from him and go to sleep. I cant fight him, he's stronger than me, i hate feeling trapped like this under his assault. He slams me again and my head hit the wall followed by his heavy hands hitting me again over and over in my head. He takes his belt off and starts hitting me with it. My skin stings and burns with every hit. I just want him to finish already so I can go lay down. I know I'm going to be sore tomorrow at school after his lesson in discipline. It felt like it went on forever and I just took it. There was nothing else I could do. I guess once he felt like I had learned my lesson for " disrespecting him and talking back" he told me to get out of his face. I grabbed my stuff and went to my room. Welts and cuts already starting to show on my arms, I knew my legs would be worse. 

I laid down in my bed and cried. That happy feeling I felt earlier seemed so far away. Anytime I started to even think I could feel good something would happen and take my hope away. I wanted a new father. I wanted a dad who didn't feel the need to hit me every time he felt like I said something he did not like. I want a dad who would be kind to me. I just want a male role model to show me how men should be. I want a male figure I can trust in my life. I want a dad who will be kind to me. I cry when the thought that I have to stay here with him for the next four years. I don't think I can do it. I don't want to feel like this any longer. Helpless and sad. 

The next day I had the worst headache I have ever had. Loud noises hurt my head and I couldn't focus on anything. I felt so, empty. So devastated. So, sad. I hated this. My jeans rubbing against the welts all across my legs just reminding me with every step that I'm stuck there with him. I tried to hide it but my friends could tell something was wrong. Usually I can hide the sadness that never seems to leave me. Not anymore. Every attempt at a smile just hurt me. What reason to I have to smile? What do I have to live for right now? My father doesn't love me, he makes it more clear with every welt he leaves behind. My mother just lets it happen. I feel like a shell. Nothing inside worth keeping. I just want someone to guide me. To help me on my journey. I'm alone. I always have been and its clear I always will be. Please someone, help me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jasmin comes home after getting a ride from her friend and has a confrontation with her dad. 
> 
> Thanks for reading. Have an awesome day or night! Love is a great thing to have, love can heal lots of things! I'm just testing my writing skills. I feel like I'm a terrible writer but I have so many things in my head and I want to get better at putting my thoughts into words.


	3. Sophmore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me so long cause I'm sad and lazy, sorry.

First year done. Three more to go. Hopefully this second year is not that bad. Better than the second semester of freshman year. My grades started to slip a bit after what happened, but I am determined to not let anything like that happen this year. He apologized a few days after. I want to believe him when he says that he will change and that he wouldn't get angry like that again. I do want to believe him but the scars on my legs make it hard to.

++++++

" Jasmine can you come here please".

"Yes". I really did not feel like talking to him, my head still hurts and my legs hurt when anything rubs against them.

" Can you sit down please" I sit reluctantly, hopefully whatever he has to say he will be done quick but knowing him it will turn into some long, annoying lecture.

" I don't want us to have to walk on eggshells around each other, you don't have to walk on eggshells around me. I know you are upset with me right now and I was upset earlier but now that I have calmed down I want you to know that I love you and I am sorry.

_Sorry? He's sorry? Loves me?_ I feel my anger start to surface as he continues with his so called apology.

" I shouldn't have reacted like that. I just forget that my little girl is growing up and I can't believe it. I still see you when we were taking you home from the hospital. I do not want you in the car with other teenagers is all, it's dangerous. I was a teenager once and they can not drive and with these phones it is so easy to get distracted. I was a teenage boy once too, he is only offering so he can ask for something else later. I just want to keep you safe and out of problems we can avoid. I made the mistakes already so you don't have to, I don't know what I would do if something happened to you. It would make me a bad father if I just sat back and never said anything and let you do whatever and go with whoever. Yes I was angry and shouldn't have acted the way I did, but maybe if you didn't have such a smart mouth all the time I wouldn't have had to act that way. You can always come and talk to me, I will work on not getting so angry but I will always be here for you. That's all I wanted to say, you can go back to your room now."

I feel the tears start to burn my eyes as he keeps going on. I cannot do this with him right now. It always comes back to it being my fault, huh. I am so angry and I want to show him how angry I am but I cant. Its bubbling up inside me with nowhere to go, I wont let it out. I wont show him how his word bother me. I can feel the slight pressure building in my head behind my eyes, that's where my anger goes. Into a headache that will settle right behind my eyes and down around to the base of my skill where it will sit until I can distract myself long enough for it to go away. Maybe he means it. But when I lay down and pull the cover over my legs, the sting from the healing welts and broken skin make me doubt it.

++++++

I can feel that familiar pressure start to build my eyes and I will myself to not think about it. I don't want to be angry, I am sick of being angry. I feel angry all the time now and I don't know if I should be grateful that the sadness turned into anger. But the anger is almost worse, the almost constant headaches from it, I can never focus when I'm angry which makes doing anything feel impossible. I try my best to feel nothing most of the time to just let things roll off me like water off a ducks back. I will be happy this year, that is another thing I want and I plan to find things that will help with that.

I have more basic core classes again this year. Another English class with Danny. _Yes, turn up!_ Then Geometry after which is honestly super lame because it's math. I've started to realize that usually all English and science classes tend to be on the third floor, Social studies, business and other electives on the second floor, then fine arts and math on the first floor. I know there's classes in the basement but luckily I have none there. Imagine going from the basement then the third floor next period, yeah that's a big no for me I would be so pissed.

I have chemistry third period and I'm excited because I hear the teacher Mr. Harret is kind of weird. My fourth hour is a class that I actually really hope I learn a lot in. Its my ACT prep class, I figured I should take it since everyone keeps telling me how important that test is. Even though I take my ACT my junior year its probably good I get this out the way this year because everyone says how hard junior year is. Well if this class is hard then I shouldn't wait till my junior year and stress myself out more.

_Right?_

_Right!_

Lucky for me my fourth period is right around the corner from my third period class. Love that for me. Hopefully this 'G. Johnson' is a cool teacher, I wish they put their first names on here so I could tell if they were a man or a woman before hand. Whatever I'll just have to wait till I get to the class to find out. My last class of the day is History. Perfect, what a great way to end the day, in a subject I love. Fingers crossed that I got good teachers this year.

It turns out that Mr. B from last year is my advisor too so I get to keep seeing him! I liked him, he was a really cool teacher. Even though I never said anything about what happened it was almost like he knew something changed. When my grades started to slip he bumped my C to a B at the end of the year and told me that he enjoyed me in class and his door was always open if I needed anything. An adult male being kind to me, strange but I think I like the feeling of having a male figure that seems trustworthy enough to talk to.

+++++++++++

My first three classes go by without any problems. Mr.Harret is in fact a little weird, he showed us shark teeth he found and told us random personal stories throughout the entirety of explaining the syllabus and started a fire on his desk in the name of science. Very different from all the other sciences classes I've been in. When the bell rings signaling that it is time to move on to the next class I feel myself get a little nervous. I have no idea what to except which is more unnerving than I thought it would be. I know what to kind of expect with other classes because I have taken English, math and science classes since forever. As I walk to my fourth hour class I have so many questions. _"What if its really hard? What If I don't understand any of the work? What if I fail the class? What if the teacher is really mean? Who else is going to be in here? Will I know anyone? Do we have to present or anything in here?"_. I reach the door and there isn't anyone standing to greet me as I walk in like usual. Sometimes teachers stand out by their doors before class starts but maybe this one is already at their desk.

When I walk in, there is no one at the desk. I wonder where they are. There is a cluster of desks in the middle of the room and right in front of them is a podium. I sit at one of the four desks and check my phone three minutes until class starts. I rest my head on the desk and close my eyes trying to relax and think positive about the class. I still have my head down when the minute bell rings, already thinking about what line I want to go in for lunch. I raise my head just as the final bell rings and see a man briskly walk in and sit his things down on the teachers desk. This must be him I think. He goes over and writes ' Mr. Johnson' on the whiteboard then comes and stands in front of the podium.

The first thing I notice is how tall he is. Really tall, probably around 6'2 or something. He wasn't smiling which made him look like a hardass and a no-nonsense guy. He wore glasses and was starting to bald a bit but he did not look like he was super old or anything, maybe around 40. He didn't look bad, he was a decent lookin' guy. His clothes were really big on him which made him look bigger than he really was but I could tell he was strong. He looked around the room with that stern look on his face and when his eyes landed on me it felt like they lingered for a bit before continuing around the room.

_"oh no he's probably going to be a dickhead all semester"_ I thought to myself.

"I am Mr. Johnson and I'll be your teacher for this class. First thing is that this class will be a lot of work, we do about 75 to 120 assignments over the course of this semester. My job is to prepare you for the ACT and Ill do my job to my best ability. You do not need your phones in here so put them away and take your headphones out. I don't like repeating myself so please listen the first time and this should be an easy class for me and you". He said sternly.

_"He didn't smile once, I don't think I've met a teacher who just didn't smile. I wonder what has his panties in a bunch on the first day of school already. I have already made up in my mind that I will not like him and we will never get along. I like nice teachers who smile, he does not seem like the nicest guy. Up to 120 assignments? That seems a little crazy, right? How are we supposed to do all that in just one semester? Ugh, I am going to hate this class, at least I didn't wait and take it junior year that really would have been stressful. "_

+++++++++++++

Halfway through the semester and I am doing G-R-E-A-T! I mean absolutely amazing in all my classes and I have even made a new friend in my history class. Her name is Catrice with a 'C' but I like to call her Cat because she is so cute and small. Actually one of the most adorable humans and when I say small its true she's shorter than me! I am at least 5'2 by now! Cat is only 4'11! I am finally taller than someone. My life is complete I can die happy now.

My classes are a breeze! I feel so smart, like my brain is big or something this year just soaking up everything. That ACT prep class I was worried about? _HA!_ I worried for naught! Turned out to be one of the easiest and most enjoyable parts of my day. Everyday he taught the class something new and taught it well! All the four main subjects, he is teaching in this class and does it well like he majored in all of them in college! Turns out that the stick up his ass does come out and he is nicer than he looked that first day. He still doesn't smile much but when he does its just a small one, never with any teeth. Strange.

Now, when I said I was doing great in all my classes I meant all my classes except.....

I tremble just at the thought of the horrid subject and even worse teacher.

My math class, _Geometry._ And that evil wench _Ms. Bunt._

I really do try guys! A lot! I even watch videos on YouTube to try and help but NOTHING is working! MAYBE if I had a half decent, competent teacher, I would not have a fucking 'D'!!!! ME? WITH A 'D'???? That's too close to an 'F' and I have **NEVER** failed a class in my LIFE and I REFUSE to start now!!! It really is not my fault, I am serious. Have you ever just had that one teacher who just should not have been a teacher? They just suck at it.

She is almost never even at school! Never in my life have I had a Teacher who misses school like a student who truly does not give a fuck. She is not even pregnant so what is her reason for not coming you ask? Because she "did not want to" , her words by the way. When she is there she hangs out in the math department for half the period making food, I-

Terrible is all I can say. I tried going to the after school tutoring but there are so many other kids in there asking for help and only 2 teachers....you get the idea. I need some one on one help and I am not getting it. I tried Mr. B but he said that he does algebra not geometry. _Pathetic._ Ugh!!!!!! Who else is there? What am I going to do?

_Wait!_

_A!_

_Minute!_

_Mr. Johnson!_

He can do basically from everything I have seen! Math, English, Science and he builds the set for acting!? What can't he do? He should be able to do geometry and teach me if my math teacher wont. During class I mean he just sits at his desk and works after giving instruction. Maybe he wont mind if I ask for help on something outside of his class.

I get through all my work in there quick and I have an 'A'. I usually finish everything and have about 15-20 minutes left while everyone works. I notice that he always looks a little skeptical when I finish my work so early but in my defense I just read really fast and I always get good grades so I clearly understand the material.

_Not my fault everyone else reads_ _like snails._

I have realized that my specialty is reading and comprehension after all. It is one of the things that I have found that I am good at. I smile to myself thinking about it. I always felt like I was not good enough in anything but now I have something. That makes me happy.

Alrighty then, It has been decided I will ask him to help me. I just have to go to his desk and ask him if he could help me. Just get up from my desk and walk over to his desk and speak words and-

Yeah, no, I have no idea how I am going to do this. I hate asking for help and he is always doing work, I don't want to bother him. He's going to think I'm annoying and stupid. He's just going to give me that intense stare and say words that go over my head, I will be embarrassed. I might for real die if I have to speak to this man. Why couldn't he have been a woman? I like talking to them better! He'll probably say no, he has other things to do. I mean if he says no then that's it, I at least have to try.

I hate talking to men though, why can't he just read my mind? He can do everything else! Fuck! I just have to suck it up this one time. It's not like he has ever done anything to me, I am sure he won't be a dick about me asking. It is his job after all to help students!

Yeah! That's right! It _is_ his job! So if he does not help me then damn him! Damn him to hell!

"Self" I say

Self says "What?"

It has been decided! We will ask him tomorrow.

Me, Myself and I. Truly a trio. Glad I have them to help me figure things out.

++++++++++ Tomorrow, Much to my chagrin++++++because I have to directly talk to this large scary looking man+++++++

_Just breathe. You just need help and there is nothing wrong with that. The worst he can say is no._

Halfway through the class I had almost talked myself out of it. _Why couldn't he be a woman? This would be much easier!_ I curse him again for being the man that he is. Once again I have finished my work with about 20 minutes left of class. I should ask him right now, no time like the present. Just get up and walk to his desk and use words. I can do this.

I slide out of my sit and walk over to the side of his desk. He lifts his head from his computer and turns in his seat towards me and looks me in the eyes. I look down at my chrome book in my hands not wanting to make eye contact with him, eye contact just makes me....uncomfortable. He is looking at me, waiting for me to say whatever it is.

"Um, I was wondering if you can help me with my math". I glance up and get caught in his intense stare. He just looks at me for a moment before he takes my chrome book and looks to see what I am working on. He stares at the screen for a moment before saying " I'm not really sure how to do this, its been awhile" his eyes never leaving the screen.

I start to deflate realizing that I am just going to have to struggle through this class. But then, he says something that surprises me.

"Give me a minute to look it up so I can refresh myself on it and I'll help you". I just stand there floored at this. _He is going to refresh himself? To help me?_ When he has other things he could be doing? What does this mean? Why is he doing this? Lets not look our gift horse in the mouth, and just accept whatever this is.

Just as I suspected, he can teach anything. The last 15 minutes of class he explained and showed me how to do the problems for my geometry homework. I have never been so grateful for a man in my life. He said if I ever needed help I could always ask him. He wasn't that bad after all even though he did not smile much. He seemed like a nice guy, but there was something in his stare that was a little unsettling. I just couldn't put my finger on what it was, but that look in his eye was gone before I could think too much of it.

This is how it started. Me just asking for help, then slowly asking him random things while we worked. If I saw him in the halls I would say Hi and ask about his day. He would ask me at the end of class if I was understanding everything, and told me if I ever had any problems that I could come to his office too. Which I did, apparently he's the department chair for the English department, so he's like the boss. Cool for him. He helped me with whatever I asked him to and soon I would just stop by to talk to him about random stuff not even school related.

He was the first person I told when I passed my geometry class with an A at the end of the year. I thanked him and told him that without his help I probably failed. He just shook his head and actually smiled a little bit?!?!?!? and told me that he knew I could and how he knew how smart I was. I appreciated the praise, I soaked it up like a sponge in water! In my head I saw it as a friendship beginning, I had no idea what I really gotten myself into.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am thinking about doing a POV in the teachers but idk yet, most likely not though.


End file.
